Chapter three- I wanna know you.

Justin and I stand by Caroline’s Creek for a good 20 minutes. Justin literally just comforted me while I cried on his shoulder for 20 minutes, and I just met the dude the other day. He’s truly a sweetheart.

Justin and I let go of eachother and look into eachother’s eyes for a moment.

“Thank you Justin.. for being there for me..” I say breaking the silence. I truly was grateful. He actually did make me feel a lot better surprisingly. 

Justin and I near our houses. The walk home was fun, I really feel like I know Justin better after talking with him as we walked home about stuff that didn’t have to relate to Caroline, it was nice to think about something else. He mainly told me stories about his World Tour, and people in his life- some names I remember him mentioning a lot were Scooter, Chaz, Ryan, his grandpa & grandma, his siblings; Jaxon & Jazy, etc. I’m glad the two of us didn’t talk much about my fucked up life, I don’t think I would’ve shared much of it with him anyways. 

I look over at my house, and see the empty drive way. Shocker. Mum is out with her boyfriend. I look back to Justin and see his warm smile. His smile is so comforting, it literally brings chills to my body. He’s so flawless.. so perfect. 

“I’ve got to help my mom make dinner, her friends are coming over tonight to see our new house..” Justin says to me while he rolls his eyes a little. “.. but we should hang out sometime Nadia.. you’re a really deep person, you’re real.. I like that.” Justin then adds. The smile on his face becomes bigger, showing off his beautiful white smile. Eeeeeepppp.

“Yeah, I guess you’re aight Bieber” I respond playfully. Am I flirting? Ah stop it Nadia, don’t go down this road.

It’s like a war going on within me, half of me wants me to go for Justin; get to know him, and possibly even fall in love with him if that was even an option.. then the other half of me wants to run away, and hide; Chris hurt me more than anyone will ever be able to understand.

Plus, as i’ve said before, i’ve learned it’s best not to get attached to people.. I just end up getting hurt.. ex. my dad, Chris, Caroline.. I wish my life and I weren’t so complicated, goddamnit. 

Justin laughs a little at my flirty response. “So am I worthy of getting Ms. Nadia Allen’s phone number?” He’s good. With that warm smile, and naturally flirtatious lingo, he was a pro at making a girl’s heart melt in the palm of his hand. He was really starting to get to me despite the war going on within me. 

“Hmmmmm, I suppose so” I say as I reach for his phone I see in his hand. I type in my number, and then hand Justin back his phone. I look up at him, and examine his flawless facial features. Our eyes then lock; I sware it was magical. 

“Text me sometime Bieber.” I say as I walk away after flashing him one last smile. 

“Count on it Allen” Justin responds to me. He giggles a little, and I can’t help but to turn around one last time before walking into my house.

To my surprise, he was doing the exact thing. Justin was still staring at me, smiling.

skdfhlksjhalkjfakjhfkajshdfkajshdfkajhdfkajhsfkajfak. That’s what I felt like just then. It was a good feeling though. I wasn’t expecting to be feeling anything like this, especially not today, I really don’t understand this at all- these crazy feelings Justin is giving me. 

(Justin)

I walk in my house, and shut the door. I stand with my back against the front door, smiling. Score. I got Nadia’s number. She was being flirty too I think? That’s another thing I like about her.. I can’t figure her out. Usually girls are all over me, and I can easily tell if they want me or not. But Nadia, I have no idea if she’s interesting in me or not. 

I look down at my phone in my hand. Should I text her? No. Not yet. C’mon Justin, keep your cool. 

I feel the front door knob begin to turn, and I move away from the door quickly. I then see my mom standing there in front of me outside of the open front door.

“Justin! Come help me carry in the groceries? I still have to make dinner for tonight!” my mom says to me.

“Yeah, I guess.” 

I walk out the front door following my mom to her car. As I walk outside, I take a quick glance at Nadia’s house. Nadia. Just knowing the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen is so close, gives me an indescribable feeling. I need to get to know this girl, I want to know every single detail about Nadia Allen. In fact, I think I might just want Nadia Allen.

(Nadia) 

I sit on my bed and look at myself in the mirror fixing my hair. When is he going to text me? Is he ever going to text me? Stop thinking about it Nadia, you shouldn’t care.. oh who the hell am I trying to fool, I want him to text me more than anything else. My train of thought is broken off by the sound of my front door opening.

”.. mumm?” I yell. 

I hear footsteps rushing up my stairs. “Guess again” Sam. 

I suddenly see my best friend Sam standing in my bed room doorway smiling at me as she catches her breathe. 

Samantha Larson. She goes by Sam, if anyone calls her Samantha she gets pissed. Sam is literally the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen, it kind of sucks when we go out together, the guys usually notice her before they even take a glance at me. Sam has shoulder length beach blonde hair, green eyes, and a smile to death for. Her nose is pierced, and she’s one of the few people I know that can actually pull off a nose piercing. She’s thin, curvy, and is developed- big ass, and big tits. Not as big as mine, but still big tits. Sam is the only person I trust in this world, I know I can count on her always. We know everything about eachother, I love how well we understand one another. Sam is kind of a slut, but I love her anyways. I couldn’t ask for a better best friend. 

“Hey Nads.. gimme a hug. You doin okay? I know today is rough day for ya..” Sam says to me as she plants herself next to me on my bed. Sam wraps her arms around me and I smell her strong perfume. That’s another thing about Sam, she always smells amazing.

“Yeah actually i’m doing better than I thought I would be” I reply to Sam in a reassuring way. I hug my best friend back as I feel her arms wrapped around me.

“Good. I’m happy to hear that! I stopped by the creek and placed some daffodils there, I know they were Caroline’s favorite.” Sam says to me sweetly. Sam really does know how to make me feel better. 

“Where’s your mommma?” Sam adds as she lets go of me. 

“Guess..” I reply bitterly.

“With what’s his face? Kole..?” 

“Kyle. Haa, as if it matters though..” I reply correcting Sam. We both giggle a little. Suddenly Sam shoots up from the bed and covers her mouth with her hands as she jumps up and down.

“Dude!” she says. Sam is excited.. new boyfriend or something maybe?

“What weirdo?” I say as I laugh at her jumping up and down in front of me. 

“Not sure if you know this.. but JUSTIN BIEBER IS YOUR FUCKING NEIGHBOR! As I was walking in your house.. he was helping his mom carry in groceries.. not joke.” Sam says to me excited yet completely serious.

“Yeah I know, I met him, he’s nice.” I say back to Sam, still giggling at how excited she is. Sam’s mouth drops. 

“WHY DIDN’T YA TELL ME BIOTCH?! JUSTIN MOTHER EFFING BIEBER? I mean c’mon Nads!” Sam says jokingly. 

“I don’t know, I had other things on my mind..” I say as I look at the scrapbooks containing pictures of Caroline and I. I feel my heart sink in my chest, and my body get heavy. Heartache; a feeling I was quite used to by now.

Sam nods her head, and looks away, pretending to be looking at something on my wall. 

“So you crashing here tonight? I’ve got a ton of chick flicks recorded we should watch” I ask Sam, trying to break the unwanted silence. 

“Chyeahh, sounds good.” 

A movie night with my best friend was just what I needed. Sam plops her slender body onto my love sac in front of my tv, and I turn on the tv.

The sun is shining through the window, hurting my eyes from it’s brightness. Chris and I are in his room, while his parent’s are away on vacation. I feel Chris’s arms hug my waist from behind.

Chris presses his lips against my cheek and slowly moves his lips to my ear. “Nadia want to know something?” Chris whispers to me. I hold onto his arms around me and giggle as I reply “Hmm, what?”

“I love you. I’m in love you. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.. and I want to show it to you..” Chris says to me seductively. I suddenly feel his hands moving up and down my arms. Chris then slowly pulls the straps of my tank top off my shoulders. I feel my heart beating fast. I know what he wants to do; I wasn’t sure if Chris and I were ready, but I wanted to do it to. Not exactly at that moment, but if that’s what Chris wanted, I was willing to do anything for him, he had sort of been pressuring me into having sex with him for awhile. I had been saying no to him, but that day, I knew I was going to give into those blue eyes. 

“Chris..” I say as I turn around so Chris and I are facing eachother. I wrap my arms around his neck, and press my forehead against his. I stare into his beautiful blue eyes then add, “If you think that’s how we can show eachother how much we love eachother.. then I want to..” I reply unsure.

Chris presses his lips to mine, and I feel his tongue trying to enter my mouth. Chris and I begin to kiss passionately and hard. Chris pushes my clothes off slowly. Without even knowing it, Chris and I somehow back up against his bed. I fall back onto it, and he lays himself on top of me.

I knew what was about to happen, and I was scared. I had never had sex before. But if Chris wanted to do it, i’d do anything to make him happy.

I suddenly wake up and sit straight up in bed.

I’m breathing heavy, and I feel a cold sweat all over my body. I begin to cry silently to myself as I think of the nightmare I just had. 

Chapter two- Caroline’s Creek.

I can feel the sun pounding against my back as I wrap my arms around the warm smooth stone, that holds my sister Caroline’s body beneath it. Tears roll down my face and hit my short black dress. My knees are sinked into the grass as I sit there looking at the tombstone. Today would of been Caroline’s 19th birthday.

“Hi sissyy. I miss you.. mum misses you to.. she just forgot, that’s all.. she’s been hurtin’ a lot, we both have.. we miss you so much..” I mumble as my forehead is pressed against the warm tombstone. Tears begin to flood my eyes. I can’t believe mum isn’t here, how could she forget this.

I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder and turn my head without removing my arms around Caroline’s tombstone to see who’s hand is on my shoulder. I look up and see a man wearing a long black coat. Detective Kipler. But I just call him Kip. 

I give him a friendly smile. “You remembered..” 

Kip reaches his hand out for mine to help me off the ground. I take his hand and feel my body slowly raise from the ground. I feel so weak, so empty. 

“Nadia, of course I remembered.. Caroline will always be remembered.” Kip says to me with a reassuring yet serious smile. His eyes are watering and his voice is a bit shakey. 

“Mum doesn’t remember..” I say bitterly. Harsh, but true. All she cares about is her fancy-pants new boyfriend. 

Kip looks down at the ground not knowing how to respond to my bitter remark. He knows i’m right. 

“Nadia hush. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s not that she doesn’t remember, she just tries not to remember as much.. she’s trying to move forward with her life, don’t be too hard on her..” Kip says to me as he looks deep into my eyes. I just nod in response, as the tears freely fall from my eyes. 

“I haven’t given up on trying to find the killer either Nadia, don’t ever think I will until the bastard is caught.. that son of a bitch is going to be in jail, I won’t rest until he’s behind bars.” Kip adds. The police have been investigating Caroline’s murder intently ever since the day she was found stabbed to death in a creek nearby our house. The creek respectively is now named Caroline’s Creek, it’s like a memorial for her; I make sure there are always fresh daffodils present there, those were Caroline’s favorite.

To this day, I don’t understand who would have murdered my sister, everyone loved her. But I pray every night that Kip finds the low life who did this. 

I’m home, in my room now, looking through scrapbooks of old pictures of me and Caroline. I sent my mum a couple texts bitching her out asking how she could forget about Caroline’s birthday, she didn’t reply, but I wasn’t expecting a reply anyways. God I miss Caroline so much. My heart literally ached with every sob that left my body as I sat on the floor with the scrapbook in my hands. 

I decide to put the pictures down, and get myself up. Kip was right, maybe moving forward wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all. But there is no way in hell i’m ever going to forget about Caroline, never. I get myself up, and wipe the tears from my eyes. I grab the fresh daffodils on my table that I got just for today, and head out the front door towards Caroline’s Creek. 

(Justin)

As I walk out my front door and look around at my new wealthy neighborhood before my eyes, i’m almost shocked that I haven’t been mauled by paparazzi yet.. this is something I could get used to. I guess all these people are rich enough to realize all I am is another person. 

I glance across the street over at that one beautiful girl’s house- Nadia’s house. Her name stuck to my heart like glue the moment it left her lips- those lips; so lush and tender. Something about that girl, was so.. so.. different I guess you could say. The way she had herself so collected was something I don’t see often. She’s cute. Really cute. Maybe moving here wouldn’t be so bad after all, seeing that gorgeous smile on a daily basis sounded perfect to me.

As I walk down the street, observing the different mansion like houses, and the occasional people outside of them, I try to get a feel of my new neighborhood. Knowing Nadia was my neighbor, lots of wealthy old rich folks, trophy wives, some dudes that looked about my age, and plenty of gorgeous girls- again, maybe moving here wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

I’m walking further into my neighborhood. The sun is shining on my face, no paparazzi in sight; i’m feeling incredible. It’s all a little too good to be true. 

I come up to a creek that I notice off to the far side of the road. I make my way towards it, and slowly and cautiously inch near it trying not to fall in. I pick up a twig and toss it in the swiftly moving water. I watch it as the water catches the twig, and it floats gracefully down the creek. As the twig floats further and further down the creek, I see some brightly covered flowers, some cards, candles, and even a few pictures on the creek bank not too far up ahead. 

Caroline Allen. I remember some of the neighbor folks were telling me and mom about a girl named Caroline Allen being murdered, and some creek being named after her. Poor girl. 

I walk near the shrine looking ensemble on the creek bank. Tons of different flowers caught my eye, it was beautiful. This girl was truly loved. What a terrible loss. Looking down at the few pictures of her present scattered around, she was beautiful. Absolutely breathe taking. She looked familiar in a sense.. really familiar the more I glanced at her picture.. she had the type of beauty where you wouldn’t just forget the name that belonged to that angelic face. 

My eyes wander around the memorial, and my ears are filled with the sound of the creek water flowing rapidly. I suddenly hear footsteps and turn towards them immediately. A beautiful average height girl with a short black dress on, holding daffodils stood before me. Nadia. 

I feel my heart speed up as she notices me. I get the nerve to say hello. “Hey gorgeous” I smile a genuine grin, as I look into her beautiful blue eyes. I was genuinely happy to see her. 

Nadia smiles at me. “Hey Justin.” Hearing those words come from her lips made me feel weak at my knees. 

(Nadia)

What the hell is he doing here? I secretly try to deny the fact that i’m excited to see him to myself. I look away from his big brown eyes, and kneel down close to a picture of Caroline on the ground. I kiss the daffodils, and lay them next to her picture gently. Looking around, seeing all the other flowers, and other things Caroline’s friends and members of our family brought to her memorial brings a feeling of contempt to my aching heart. See sisssy, no one will ever forget about you.

“it’s truly awful what happened to that girl Caroline.. tell me they’ve at least caught the prick who did this to her.” Justin says to me. The look on his face makes me believe that he actually truly cares. He’s sweet. 

”.. unfortunately no.. I have faith that they will though.” I reply to Justin. 

Justin nods and looks around at all the things left for Caroline. I keep my eyes on Caroline’s picture. I may not be looking at Justin, but I can feel his eyes suddenly on me.

“Did you know the girl?” 

I look up at Justin and see him looking down at me. I feel the hot tears rushing to my eyes, I manage to break a small smile then say “Caroline was my sister.” 

Justin’s face suddenly looks as if he had just seen a ghost. He feels awful, it’s obvious. I feel kind of bad, I didn’t intend to make him feel shitty for not knowing that the dead murdered girl is my sister. 

“Nadia… i’m so so SO sorry.. I had no idea.. really i’m such a fucking idoit, i’m sor-” I cut Justin off.

“Justin! It’s okay. Really it’s fine.” I say as I get up from the grounded getting closer to him. 

Without saying a word, I suddenly feel Justin’s arms wrap around me tightly. He rubs my back as I rest my head on his shoulder. Tears stream down my face, and get his shirt a bit wet. He doesn’t seem to mind though.

“Nadia, just think- you have the most beautiful, most amazing, guardian angel watching over you..” Justin whispered to me softly as he began to stroke my hair.

I had never thought of it like that. Hearing Justin say those words bring me a sudden sense of closure of my sister’s death that i’ve never been able to feel before. Tears continued to stream down my face, but Justin’s arms never let me go. My arms never stopped holding onto him either.

His smell; his cologne smelt amazing. His firm body against mine made me feel safe and secure. The way his whispering voice could calm me down and bring me inner peace. Quite puzzling, but absolutely extraordinary. This boy is extraordinary. Whoa there Nadia, don’t be getting all attached. No way. No fucking way… but the way he’s making butterflies flutter around inside my tummy, and the way he’s making my head spin certainly isn’t helping me keep in mind my no-attachment-rule.

Whether I like it or not, i’ve gotten myself into something. It’s becoming obvious that there isn’t going to be any easy way out either. 

Chapter thirtyfour- Why did you let me walk away?

You sit on the bench looking up at Justin a couple feet away from you. He’s stopped walking towards you and is just staring at you. Not in a creepy way but it’s as if he doesn’t realize he’s soaking wet, hes completely mesmerized by you. You’re thankful it’s raining so hard, it’s hiding the tears running down your face. You then stand up from the bench and face towards him, still a couple feet apart. “What are you doing out here?” Justin says to you. “Why do you care? You’ve got that girl inside.. isn’t she going to be wandering where you are?” you snap back. You feel bad, but you couldn’t help it, it just came out. He laughs a little and looks down and then back up at you. What the hell is he laughing about? But ah you’ve missed that laugh, and the perfect smile he just revealed for a quick few seconds. You give him a puzzled look. Justin then says, “__________… that girl is my cousin..” You feel pretty dumb right now. Justin continues giggling trying to lighten the mood. You look to your side and just stare out into the distance avoiding eye contact with Justin. Justin stops laughing softly as he realizes you’re upset. “_______…” Justin says to you. You feel your lips quiver and you shake your head and look down as you let out some fresh tears. Not even the rain can hide the fact that you were crying now. Justin realizes that you’re crying and takes a step closer to you saying, “Please don’t cry ______.. what’s wrong?” As he asks you that you shake your head and look down at your feet. What’s wrong? Justin was the best thing to ever walk into your life. These past few months have been so painful for you, and just the thought of how much hurt you felt brings tears to your eyes. You had the courage to walk away, because you didn’t think you had any other choice. Why did he let you go so easily? You look back up at Justin, who’s closer to you now, but still about a foot away. You build up the courage to ask him what you’ve wanted to ask him ever since the day you broke up. “Why did you let me walk away? Was I really that easy to let go of?” you feel warm tears run down your cold wet cheeks. You see a tear roll down Justin’s face. “_______… you wanted to leave, I didn’t know what to do at the time…” more tears stream down Justin’s face. His voice is shaky and he is beginning to speak louder. “… you don’t even know how stupid i’ve felt for the past 3 months…” you and Justin are both crying hard right now. You haven’t looked away from eachother. It’s clear both of you have suffered, and in a way it’s reliving to know that you weren’t the only one who was hurting like hell. “… I let the best thing that’s ever happened to me walk away. I let the only girl i’ve truly loved walk away that easily, believe me I know, I fucked up… I don’t think you realize how many times i’ve wished I could go back to that day and redo it..” Justin runs his hands through his wet hair trying to calm himself down. “I’m such a fucking idiot.. you deserve someone amazing, you’ve probably had about 20 boyfriends who all aren’t as fucking stupid as me.. I fucked up big time.” Justin isn’t afraid to show you how hurt he’s been, you feel like he means every word out of his mouth. You begin to cry again, but this time not tears from hurting.. tears of happiness. You haven’t had these in a long time. Before Justin can say anything else, you pull him close to you and press your lips against his. He wasn’t expecting that, he was expecting a “yeah you were a fucking idiot.” from you; but you didn’t care about any of that anymore. You just wanted him in your life again, you were tired of hurting and fighting. His lips are cold from the rain, but you don’t care. You’ve missed his soft lips more than anything. You cup your hands around his face stopping any more tears falling from his eyes. He wraps his arms around you tightly. Your tongue finds it’s way into Justin’s mouth and the two of you kiss passionately. The feeling of his arms around you relieves all the heartache that had. The moment is perfect. You feel your insides melt as you feel him hold you. Before this night your life was a confusing mess without Justin, but now that he’s back, you feel like not a piece is out of place. The taste of his lips, the softness of his skin, the feeling of him against you- it’s as if you’ve suddenly been cured from some serious disease. Even through all that mess and chaos you and him went through, it’s as if it’s been erased. Like it never happened. Sometimes in spite of difference, sometimes against all odds, some things are meant to happen. You and Justin are meant to happen- yeah you’re young, but you’ve never been so sure of something in your life. This feels so right to you. Justin breaks the kiss by looking down smiling at you. You’re still tightly wrapped in his arms. You smile back up at him and giggle a little. You both are so happy, it’s written all over your faces. “Don’t you dare try to run away like that again.. and if you do, don’t expect to get away that easily.” Justin says to you. He sounds genuine and sincere. You smile and begin to tear up. “Babe we’ve had enough tears! No more please.. please babe.” Justin says concerned that he’s said something to make you upset. “These are happy tears retard.” you say looking up at Justin. You press your lips against his once again. You can feel him smiling while you kiss. Justin then suddenly lifts you off the ground, and spins you around while holding you in his arms. You both are soaking wet. Great, you’re going to have to go back to the party looking like absolute shit- it’s bad enough Justin has to see you looking this terrible, now everyone else does to. You begin to shiver. You look over to the left and see Claire’s guest house not too far away. Or maybe not. “Follow me” you say to Justin while biting your lip. You grab Justin’s hand and run towards the guest house. You don’t care about the party anymore, you just want to be with Justin. 

Chapter thirtytwo- Runaway Love.

You’re at your house now. Your best friend invited you to come over to her house after the movie, but you weren’t in the mood. All you could think about is how Justin is back  in town. Did he still have feelings for you? That was the one most single question that was driving you bonkers. You shut your door, and sit on your bed. You look over at your desk, and the Seventeen Magazine issue with you on the front is sitting there. You haven’t really had the chance to look it over, so you grab it. The picture of you on the front is gorgeous, you’re still shocked they wanted you on the cover of one of their magazines. You begin to flip through the pages of the magazine and you’re now to the section of the interview of you. You begin to feel tears form around the corners of your eyes as you read:

_________ __________ : An extraordinary girl. We’re lucky we got the chance to interview her; she gave us the inside scoop on her incredible life, her boyfriend Justin Bieber, and much much more. READ!

Q: Okay, I know we’re all dying to know- tell me about you & Biebs. How did you guys meet?

A: “Well it’s kind of a funny story.. you see I was a fan of Justin’s music, (and still am of course), but my best friend and I went to one of his concerts.. and I accidently lost my phone at the concert.. when I was trying to find it, I met him. He was with his stage crew as they were closing up. I had no luck finding it that night. But the next day, he returned it to me and we hung  out! It’s kind of crazy.”

The interview continued with more questions about your life, school, and Justin. But you couldn’t handle reading anymore. Tears are streaming down your face at this point. You close the magazine and throw it across your room. You haven’t cried this hard in a long time. You decide to go on your laptop. You’re on twitter, reading all the mentions and messages people have sent you. You haven’t been on twitter in forever, ever since you and Justin split. You haven’t bothered to get on, you didn’t want to be reminded of him. But tonight you’re weaker than ever and all you want is him close to you. You genuinely miss him. You need him back in your life. You check your direct messages. There are a lot from people you don’t know. Suddenly a familiar name pops up. Justin Bieber. Your heart could literally explode from your chest, it’s beating so fast. You click on the message. He had sent you 6 messages over the past 3 months.  

Justin Bieber: baby can we please fix this :( i need u _____

Justin Bieber: I meant it when i said i loved u.. u mean the world to me.

Justin Bieber: my life isnt the same w/o u babe…

Justin Bieber: ur making me feel pathetic. i thought u loved me. please dont be mad at me anymore.. i miss u so much 

Justin Bieber: i had to get a new phone… can i have ur number? 

Justin Bieber: ok _____. ive tried my hardest. i know i shouldnt of let u walk away. & that was my mistake. u obviously want me out of ur life so i’ll just leave u alone. 

The last message also contained a link to his song ‘Runaway Love’. You click the link and watch the video of him singing ‘Runaway Love’. It seems with each lyric he sings in the video a tear falls from your eyes. You miss him so much. Justin must think you’re a bitch for not replying.. but then again, he did let you walk away. You don’t even care what happened anymore, you just want to fix it. You miss him so much. All you want is the feeling of his arms around you again, the feeling of his hot breathe whispering into your ear “I love you” late at night, you want everything about him back. You check the date on the last message, and it was sent only a three days ago.  

Chapter thirtyone- Guess who’s back in town.

You, your best friend, Claire, Darian, and Dylan are walking along the sidewalk next to the beach. You all walk in and out of stores, and just walk around the movie premiere area trying to kill time. You’re about an hour early. Tons of cars are parked along the streets, many people are dressed up and walking around wandering waiting for the movie to. Dylan and your best friend are all over eachother as usual, so you, Darian, and Claire walk a little ways in front of them. Clarie’s phone begins to ring. “Huuullooo” Claire says in her charming voice talking into the phone. “Ashleyy! Yeah we’re here, we’ll be over there in about 20 minutes..” Oh yeah that’s another thing about Claire, she’s friends with a ton of celebrities. Ashley Tisdale is basically her best friend, that’s the only reason we all are able to get into this premiere tonight. Dylan and your best friend are sitting on a bench near the beach cuddling looking out at the sunset. You and Darian unnoticeably start walking towards the beach. Claire was off talking on her cellphone to Ashley on the sidewalk a couple yards away. You stopped walking and just stood there looking out at the sunset. You didn’t like looking at the sunset anymore, it reminded you of Justin. Silly isn’t it? How the littlest things can trigger memories. Darian walks up next you. As he walks next to you, he accidently kicks sand into your gladiator sandals.  You look down at your feet, kicking the sand out of your sandals. You’re kind of grateful he kicked sand into your sandals, it gave you a reason to look down and avoid the awkward eye contact that was going to happen between the two of you. Darian broke the silence between the two of you by saying, “Hmmm.. I don’t know which is more beautiful, you or the sunset..” he looked at you with a charming smile. He was trying so hard, but none of it was working. He was charming and you don’t understand what’s wrong with you. Why can’t you just like him? You give him a big toothy smile in reply to his sweet comment. You wanted to break down into tears right there. Memories of you and Justin walking along the beach looking at the sunset begin to flood your mind. You look away from the beautiful sunset hitting the calm ocean water. Darian has a puzzled look on his face as he asks you, “You okay ______?” you look up at him flashing him a fake reassuring smile. “Yeah i’m fine! Let’s walk back over to everyone I think it’s time to go to the movie.” you reply to Darian. Dylan, and your best friend were now talking with Claire on the sidewalk. As you’re walking, Darian is close enough to you that every now and then his hand brushes against yours. You space away a little so his hand doesn’t hit yours anymore. You feel bad, he was obviously trying hard to win you over with his charm- but it wasn’t enough for you.. only one boy’s charm could satisfy you.. 

As the 5 of you near the theatre, the crowd of people gets larger and larger. Tons of paparazzi are there. Ashley must be by the entrance, because that’s where most of the flashes from all the cameras are coming from. As you all squeeze your way through the crowd, Claire is in front of you, Darian is beside you, and Dylan and your best friend are behind you. “Ashley! Ashley! Look over here gorgeous!” the paparazzi screams to Ashley. You’ve now reached the front, and security is heavy. Ashley has on a gorgeous long black dress, and is smiling big for the cameras. “Hello Ashley, I bet you’re as excited as we all are to see your new movie huh?” says a lady while holding the microphone up to Ashley. “Yes i’m so excited! Thanks to everyone who is here supporting me, you guys are awesome.” Ashley blows a kiss to the camera as she talks into the microphone. Ashley then walks towards some of the other cast members who are getting interviewed and getting their pictures taken. The lady who just talked to Ashley stays where she’s at and continues talking into the camera, “This is a big week for Hollywood- Ashley’s new movie, and tons of stars are back in town such as Justin Bieber, who just got done with his World Tour..” the lady continued to talk into the microphone listing more names, but after hearing the words “Justin Bieber, who just got done with his World Tour..” you feel like the whole world just suddenly froze. Suddenly the loud screams of the crowd are muted, the only sound you can hear is the loud beats of your heart. He’s back? You’re brought back to focus when a couple girls near you scream, “OHMYGAWD it’s __________!” they rush towards you and ask for hugs, autographs, etc. The lady who interviewed Ashley notices the numerous girls rushing over to you, and then recognizes who you are. She somehow manages to push through the crowd and make her way next to you, “Lookie who we have here viewers! It’s _______! Are you excited to see the movie? Who did you come with?” the lady says holding the microphone up to your face. Her hair was big, and her perfume was strong and overwhelming. You put on a fake smile for camera before answering. “Yes i’m so excited to see this movie! I came here with my friends…” you say into the microphone, your voice trails off as you glance around looking for the familiar faces of your friends. No where in sight. Great. “… what about Justin?!” the lady asks eagerly. You feel your heart sink into your chest. You’re used to this feeling by now, so you’ve gotten good at hiding your pain. “Uhh-” you’re interrupted by the sound of a familiar girl’s voice. “________! OVER HERE!”  you look and see Claire and the rest of the group waving at you to come towards them. Thank God. Claire was standing next to Ashley. Claire begins talking to a tall muscular man who was apart of security. She points to you, and he makes his way through the crowd to you. He then lead you to Claire, Ashley, Dylan, Darian, and your best friend. You all made your way into the theatre and took your seats. ////// The movie looked pretty good, but you weren’t really paying much attention to it. The whole time the words“Justin Bieber, who just got done with his World Tour..” replayed through your head many times. He’s back. Has Justin forgotten about you? Does he have a new girlfriend? No. Stay strong. You’ve made so much progress. Who cares if he’s back in town? You tried to convince yourself. But who are you kidding, as soon as you heard Justin’s back in town a part of you that was lost became alive again. There’s a huge chance that he’s forgotten about you, and moved on.. I mean he could have any girl in the fucking world that he wants.. so you try to refrain from thoughts of him and you together again. But the more and more you try to let go of the thought of Justin, the more you fall in love with what the two of you used to be. 

Chapter thirty- Real life.

“Hey biotchh, hurry up! We’re going to be late for class.” your best friend says to you as she leans onto the locker next to yours. You grab your chemistry book, and shut your locker. “It’s not like we’re in a rush to get to chemistry anyway.” you reply back to your best friend as you spin the lock on your locker a couple times making sure it’s secure. Your best friend giggles and says, “That’s true.. but Darian is in that class.. he’s SO hot.. he’s fun to look at.. and you know he’s totally into you to, you lucky bitch..” you laugh as you and your best friend start walking towards your chemistry class. “You have Dylan anyways, so shut your mouth.. and yeahh, he’s hot and all but I don’t know…” you say to your best friend. You know what’s holding you back. Justin. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself and everyone else you’re over him, you still have feelings for him. “It’s Justin huh..?” your best friend says to you. Her voice is comforting because she knows you are strong about it on the outside, but on the inside it hurts like no other. 

Since the day you ended things with Justin you’ve been hurting. After you walked away, Justin tried calling and texting you multiple times for about 5 days. You didn’t respond to any of them. You were angry with him. As time has passed, the more you analyze the situation, you don’t even understand why you were angry with him, it’s not completely all his fault. Over thinking how you walked away from him and ran away from the most amazing guy you’ve ever met kills you. At first you were completely devastated, you felt empty and you practically wanted to die. But your family, best friend, and some of your other close friends helped you get through that stage of the breakup. Now on the outside your the same old confident gorgeous you. You’re still popular and your life is good, you can’t complain. You see all the different sexy boys throwing themselves upon you for the taking, but you just can’t seem to take interest in anyone. It just doesn’t feel right. You can’t stop thinking about Justin. You wonder if he ever feels the way you do, you wonder if he hurts like this- probably not.. I mean you’re the one who was foolish and walked away because you were scared. But he didn’t run after you. Texting and calling you for a couple days means nothing, he should’ve at least tried to stop you. You know, like some romantic scene you’d see in a movie like The Notebook- where the guy would grab the girl and pull him against her and kiss her as the rain showered them, blah blah blah.. but this is real life, that doesn’t happen. As you’re sitting in your seat in chemistry class pretending to listen to what the teacher is saying, your mind continues to wander on with this subject. Justin. Just the thought of him still brings butterflies to your stomach, but now it also brings an ache to your heart. He passes your mind multiple times a day, and you wish he didn’t. You miss all the little things about him that made you happy.. the way he’d rest his hand on your knee while driving, those hot nights when you and him got intimate- when he was all around you, the taste, the scent, and the feel of him. Those nights when you’d fall asleep in his arms, and his heartbeat was the last thing you heard before going to sleep. Everything about him haunts you. But you and him couldn’t be together.. no matter how perfect you were. Things weren’t going to work out. To this day you know what you did was right, but your heart hates you for it.

“Earth to ________.” your best friend says to you as she waves her hand in front of your face. You haven’t even realized it, but the bell has rung and chemistry is over. You wasted that whole class period daydreaming and thinking. You immediately snap out of it, and look up at her smiling and say “Whoa sorry I was daydreaming.” the smile on your best friend’s face fades, and she looks concerned. She knows you were thinking about Justin. It’s crazy how well she knows you, sometimes you think she might even know you better than you know yourself. “_______…. have you thought about calling or texting him? You clearly really had feelings for him.. this isn’t healthy for you, being sad all the time.” you get up from your seat and pull your school bag over your shoulder then say in an convincible tone, “I’m not sad all the time” your best friend raises her eyebrows at you and shoots you ‘shut-the-fuck-up-you-know-i’m-right’ look. She was right, but you are too stubborn to admit it. “I’m serious!” you say laughing. Your best friend rolls her eyes at you. You and her begin walking down the hallway, saying hi to people to you know. “So anyways miss debbie downer.. it is Friday night you know, and Dylan, Claire, Darian, and I planned to go downtown tonight for the premiere of that new movie Ashley Tisdale is in, wanna go?” your best friend asks you. Before you have the chance to respond she adds, “Oh yeah, guess who wanted me to make sure that you’d come with us… Darian” your best friend says to giving you a nudge and a wink. You laugh at her as she nudges you. Why not? You begin thinking to yourself. You deserved to go out on a date with an attractive boy, you’ve been hurting for too long. “Yeah sounds fun, come over in like an hour so we can get ready together!” you reply to your best friend with a smile on your face. “Sounds good to me chicka.” You’re now in the parking lot, and you and your best friend get into your cars parked right to eachother. She blows you a kiss as she backs out of the parking space and drives away. You then start up your convertible, and make your way home. 

You, your best friend, Claire, Darian, and Dylan are all driving along the highway in Dylan’s Ford Escape on your way to the movie premiere. You’re all laughing, talking, singing to the radio, and having a good time. You’re sitting next to Claire and Darian in the backseat. While your best friend and Dylan are laughing about something in the front seat, Claire is telling you and Darian some story about her sister when she went to Europe last summer. Claire is one of your good friends from school, she’s hilarious. If you didn’t know her personally, you might think she was on drugs. Claire also was beautiful. Claire is thin, and tall. She models for a ton of companies. Her green eyes are beautiful next to her fair skin tone, and her blonde hair is always perfectly straightened and hangs right below her boobs. As Claire continued on with her story, you looked at Darian who was sitting on the other side of Claire. He catches you starring at him, and you blush a little. Darian was gorgeous. He’s sexy, and you don’t know why you’re not falling for him. He could have any girl at school he wanted but he wants you. You wish you could want him back. You’ve talked to him, and he’s a genuine sweetheart. He’s tall, and muscular- he’s a big athlete. He has short dark brown hair. He’s naturally tan, and his blue eyes look like ice on fire. He’s got a smile that many girls fall for, but not you for some reason.. I guess it’s cause he’s just not Justin. 

Chapter twentynine- Starts with Goodbye.

It’s about time for you to leave to the beach to meet up with Justin. You’re wearing a short red and pink summer dress, with white lace at the end. You have on sandals that show off your purple painted toenails. You’re wearing your hair down, naturally curly, with some clips holding your hangs back. Youe makeup looks as if you’re not wearing any- you don’t want to spend time doing your makeup, you know it’ll probably just be running down your face soon anyways. After thinking everything through, you know what you have to do.

You’re getting closer to the private beach, and you’re about 20 minutes early. You’ve shed a couple tears during the car ride there. You don’t want to lose him.. but what are you supposed to do? Just wait around while he’s gone getting hurt even more at the thought of him with some other girl? /// You’ve arrived at the beach. Justin isn’t there yet, but the two of you aren’t supposed to meet up for another 15 minutes or so anyways. You park your convertible, and walk towards the beach. The sun isn’t shining as bright as it was earlier, the sky now looks dull and lifeless. The wind rustles through your hair as you walk on the sand towards the water. You slip off your sandals, and look down at your feet and watch the sand sink in between your toes. “_________!” you hear a familiar voice yell from a distance. You turn around and see Justin walking towards you smiling and waving. He looks amazing as usual. You watch him as he takes off his black supras, and rolls up his white pants as he begins to walk in the sand towards you. He shakes his hair, and flashes you a toothy smile. That smile. You’re going to miss that smile. The smile on Justin’s face turns into a confused look as he sees you don’t walk, or run towards him like you usually do when you see him. You feel your whole body get heavy and ache. Here come the waterworks. You can feel your eyes watering up. “Hey Justin” you manage to say with a smile. Justin wraps his arms around you while saying, “Hey baby. Are you okay?” you don’t know how to respond. You look at the sand and then towards the ocean. “________…?” Justin says with a concerned tone. You can’t hold the tears in anymore, they begin to fall from your eyes. You face Justin and give him a small smile trying to not make him upset. “Baby…. please….” Justin says to you while trying to hold you. You back up and say, “Justin….. this summer has been so amazing with you…. I don’t think you understand how hard this is for me to say…” you begin to cry harder and harder. He tries to wrap his arms around you. You push away, and look into his eyes. He’s beginning to cry to. He knows what’s about to happen. Through your sobs you manage to continue, “… Justin I love you. So. SO. much…” you say with emphasize on the ‘so’s. Justin is crying at this point, and he doesn’t look ashamed that he’s crying in front of you. That’s something you’ve always liked about him. He’s real, he’s a genuine person who isn’t afraid to show his emotional side. You catch your breathe then continue, “… we both know this isn’t going to work, i’ve got school and you’ve got tour.. we’re just going to get hurt Justin if we continue this..” Justin is shaking his head. Tears are streaming down his face, and it kills you to see him hurt knowing you caused the pain. “no.. noooo.. no.. please _______.” Justin says to you. His voice is shaky. Justin tries to walk towards you, and you back up. More than anything you want to kiss him and hold him- but you can’t. That’s not going to help anything. You’ve got to stay strong. You’re looking out at the ocean avoiding eye contact with Justin. Seeing him hurt kills you. You’re both silent for a few moments. You listen sound of the waves crashing against the shore. “________.. I love you… i’ve never ‘loved’ a girl like I love you… I need you-” he was cut off by the shakiness in his voice. You looked up at him as he spoke to you. The wind was blowing through his hair, and you can’t help but to stare into his beautiful brown eyes that were filled with tears. Looking at him made you cry even harder. “What we have is real ________… I thought you felt the same way I do!” Justin’s shakiness in his voice turns into a more angry tone. “Justin. I care about you so much. I love you, more than you’ll ever know.. I do feel the same way, you’re going to be gone, you’re the one who’s leaving! You’ll have girls all over you 24/7, and I won’t be able to handle the thought of another Roxy incident! Justin how do you expect us to make it work?!” you yell back to Justin. Tears are streaming down your face, you don’t even care though. You and Justin remain silent. You knew he wasn’t going to have an answer to your question. “I thought I meant something to you… how are you just letting go of fucking everything we have?!?” Oh if he only knew.. this was the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make. He looked shocked.. you feel so awful, Justin probably never thought you would give up like this. The pain your heart is experiencing right now is too much, you know you need to walk away- nothing else either of you could say could make this better. Justin is looking right at you. With each tear that falls from his eyes you feel as if a knife has been stabbed into your body. You turn around and start walking towards your convertible. With each step you take away from Justin, you secretly wish he’d chase after you telling you not to go. If he cared about you as much as he says he does, he’d be running after you right? Well obviously he doesn’t care too much. He’s so mad, he doesn’t understand. You can feel Justin starring at you as you walk away. Tears continue to freely fall from your eyes, and your body is shaking. You’ve never felt this empty. Justin made you feel so complete. You had to do it though. You couldn’t sit around at home, waiting on Justin- while he could be out with other girls, meeting some other gorgeous girl that he discovers he loves more than you. You know that thoughts like those would kill you the whole time he was gone if you two stayed together, you wouldn’t be able to handle it. Now he can meet some amazing girl with no strings attached. The thought of him with another girl destroys you, it’s so hard to picture your life without him. You look down as you walk. As each tear falls from your face, it leaves a trail in the sand. //// You’re finally at your convertible. That walk from the beach to your convertible seemed like forever. You’re now sitting in your convertible, looking out at the ocean. Justin is no where in sight. You look out your windows to look for his car. It’s gone, he must’ve parked up the road or something. You look back out at the ocean and the beach. You begin to think of the beautiful memories you made here with Justin. You can’t believe he just let you walk away, you were hoping he’d at least try to run after you and stop you from this decision. With each and every thought about Justin that crosses your mind, you feel like your heart falling apart- but not only that, you know soon your life is going to feel like it’s falling apart too. You can’t imagine your life without Justin. This summer has been perfect, all thanks to him. You press your forehead against the steering wheel and just let all your tears out. As each tear hits your lap, you cry even more because with each tear you realize how difficult getting over Justin will be. He probably knew all along that he’d have to end things with me at the end of summer anyway, that’s probably why he didn’t run after me. Did he honestly think you could just stop my life and leave for him? No he probably knew you’d never do that. You’re trying to make yourself feel better with all these thoughts.. you’re trying to convince yourself that Justin is just some jerk who you need to forget. But you can’t. It doesn’t even matter anymore, you’ve ruined everything. There’s no turning back now. Either way you were going to get hurt.. you were standing at a crossroad, and your heart had a choice it had to make.. you were going to have to hurt either way. But you know moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye.